Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize