I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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