just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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