I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
