I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
