So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
