so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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