I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
