it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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