Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Vodka?
Forever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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