Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
