Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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