we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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