I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The Olympian is in my bed
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
tell me about the eggs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
