I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize