I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
