I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize