Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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