Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
