ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
