Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
