is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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