I must be too annoying 4 u.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
