Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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