is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How external is "for external use only"?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
