Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
