btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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