what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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