Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she told me i tasted like america
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
