This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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