Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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