I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
