you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
