I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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