I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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