I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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