did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
