There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I touched a dick in church today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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