just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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