I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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