so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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