some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize