Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
