She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
