now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
