girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
