If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
