There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
two words...techno handjob
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
