Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
