guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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