I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
