youre lurking in front of me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
