I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ambien. No doubt about it.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
