Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I need to align my fucking chakras
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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