Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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